Argument:
Last summer saw a 500% increase in tourism at the seaside resort, and the national economic situation is even more favorable this year. This summer's tourist boom will surely generate record revenues which will resolve our area's economic difficulties.

Essay:
The argument presents the evidence of 500% increase in tourism at a seaside resort and more favourable national economic sitution to conclude that the record revenues generated by this year's summer's tourist boom will resolve the area's economic difficulties. The argument as it stands is extremely weak and fails to convince.

First of all the argument assumes that increase in tourism at one seaside resort last year represents definite prospect of increased tourism across the area. There is no information to establish the particular resort as the representative sample of the tourism industry of the area. In absence of which author's argument falls apart.
Next the author assumes that tourism is directly affectd by the national economic situation and that more favourable national economic situation will surely lead to increased tourism in the area. This assumption, as well, is not back by any data or past precedents. In her conclusion the author implies that the area's economic difficulties can be definitely solved by increase in tourism alone. We are not provided any information about the representative size of the tourism indutsry viz-a-viz the overall economy of the area. If tourism industry has a very low share of the economy then even great improvements may not be enough to pull the area out of its economic situation.

The argument can be strengthened and made more convincing if the author provides accurate data to back up her claims. For example, she could cite a trend that indicates that increase in tourism in the particular seaside resort has in fact led to increase in tourism across the area in past. Also, some research that proves that tourism is directly affected by the national economic situation and improvements in the national economic situation lead to increased tourism will lend more credibility to the argument. Additionally, it must be clarified and proved that the tourism industry indeed has a substantial stake in improving the economic situation of the area.

Hi, thanks for posting your essay! Just an FYI that instructors don't grade or give feedback on essays (see the forum guidelines for details).

But I certainly hope other community members respond. Also, if you're in our class, you'll have an opportunity to get essays graded and get written feedback during the course (after class 6). We also offer an essay grading service (for a fee) - 2 essays graded and given written feedback. If you'd like to do this, send an email to studentservices@manhattangmat.com.

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Stacey Koprince
Instructor
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ManhattanGMAT